We may all encounter chatty colleagues throughout our career. Having chats at work is beneficial for networking and for fostering a good workplace culture. However, when it's too much, it can bring frustration and affect productivity. In this article, we'll explore some practical tips on how to handle the situation effectively.
The first tip I will share is to try to put yourself in their shoes. There is a reason for everything in life. Ask questions about their background, their family and education. The chatty coworker may have a difficult situation at home, which kind of inhibits him to express himself. Because of that, he may see you as a gateway to whom he expresses his thoughts.
I found out that many talkative people don't mean any harm to you. They are outgoing and like to receive validation from others. It might be also that they respect you as a person. This is how they show their respect. It's also possible that they require a lot of attention from others. A root cause can be a lack of confidence or they feel not good enough about themselves.
If you ask the right questions, you might as well be able to peer into their persona and understand them better.
Try to be engaging in a polite way by maintaining eye contact for 5-10 seconds at a time. I'm sure it's hard to be focused at every word they are saying right? In that case, try nodding and acknowledging by saying "Ahah!". In these situations, I do my best to grasp some ideas from the conversation and crack a funny joke out of that. I'm amazed how well this works for defusing the tension a bit!
I also recommend to avoid yawning. I see many people do that, I just find it quite impolite when someone is speaking to me. Try to repeat some words instead, to make the talkative colleague see that you got the point. You can also try to ask some questions to some related subject, if you feel like veering off the conversation.
Another tip in this chatty colleague situation is to use politeness. I learned a saying in school, which goes like "Sweet talk brings a lot!". It applies in many other circumstances as well.
Hence, be mindful about of how you phrase your responses. Instead of saying "No!" or "I don't have time!", try rephrasing it as "Thanks for sharing that with me, but I'm focused on this [specific task]. Let's catch up with [that] sometime." This approach shows that you value the other person's input while setting boundaries.
When it comes to dealing with a chatty colleague, your choice of words can make all the difference. The way you phrase things and what you choose to omit from conversations can greatly impact how others perceive you. For instance, instead of saying "I hated working in that environment," try rephrasing it as "I prefer to work in a flexible setting." This subtle shift in language can help maintain a positive tone while still conveying your needs.
I believe diplomacy works up to a point, so be prepared to use politeness and diplomacy to cut off the conversation. Use excuses like "I do have a meeting now..." or "I need to be somewhere" to end the conversation. Be professional regardless of how annoying it is.
A situation like that can be more than unpleasant, it can lead to a conflict. Every one of us has his own threshold, so it's not uncommon that disputes arise. In this case, I recommend to avoid criticizing anyone and keep your anger aside to avoid making things worse. Try to determine exactly what the chatty colleague did/said and use politeness and diplomacy to convey that the line has been crossed. Most of the time, waters calm down after this.
The last resort scenario is when every tip I wrote here fails. In this case, try to speak to your line manager about the situation. He/She will tell you what to do next. If you are lucky enough to have an empathic manager, it's even better. If advised so, discuss the issue with an HR representative. Your productivity is impacted and it's creating an unwelcome environment for you, so action is needed.
Dealing with a coworker who talks too much requires empathy, effective communication skills and setting clear boundaries. By understanding their perspective, practicing active listening, encouraging politeness and knowing when to seek support, you'll be better equipped to handle the situation and achieve your goals. Hopefully, you should never be in the situation to use Tip 5. All the best and keep it up!